Today I wanted to address something that I deal with everyday, and I know many other people do also: Dealing with anxiety. For some reason this is something that we get judged for and looked down on for dealing with. Because we’re mothers we cannot also be humans? WRONG. We have ourselves to worry about, plus tiny humans who depend completely on us for everything, if that doesn’t give you at least some anxiety you must be super woman.
So here is my back story; I have always had social anxiety, anything in public used to make my palms sweat and I couldn’t look at anyone, I would walk looking at the ground. If I had to for example talk to a class I would almost be in tears. I did not like family gatherings, I could not speak to my boyfriends family. Some of the ways I worked through that were make up, trying to go places with a friend, always having my phone on me, and those things help, along with me just getting used to it I think it wasn’t so crippling.
When I became a mother it was a COMPLETELY different level. At first I thought it was normal just postpartum emotions ETC, but as time has gone on I have accepted that I do have anxiety. I literally cannot be away from my daughter. Even if I “get time” to do something ex run to the store, date night anything, I turn it down because I cannot focus if I cannot see her and know that she’s okay. It’s not that I don’t trust my family or friends with her, I just am TERRIFIED of something happening to her. The thought of something happening literally hunts me. The world is a scary place, and you just never know, right? For the longest time (okay, three- four months, not that long but it did seem like forever I wouldn’t take P out without someone with me) Because of the way I am with Pyper I’ve been called a “helicopter mom” which honestly I can see how it would seem that way from the outside, but it’s hurtful….You do not know what someone else goes through. Motherhood is tough enough without judgment calls thrown your way.
The point of me sharing all of this is to try and help one of you, so today I’m going to tell you want I do to cope with this, This is just what I do and what I do might not be “right” and might not work for you, but I do not tolerate mom-shaming Pyper is a HAPPY, extremely healthy, thriving little princess so here are my coping methods
- Needing someone else to take care of P causes me anxiety, so we exclusively breastfeed. No need for formula, no bottles, no one else needed. PLUS breastfeeding is a wonderful bonding experience and extremely healthy for both little and mama.
- I work from home. Going off of what I just said, no need for a sitter, no daycare, I care for her on my own. An added bonus is I’m still able to bring in income and I take care of a second mini who is Pyper’s best friend (so YES she does get human interaction, I’m not crazy)
- We co-sleep. I know OMG how could I. Because it works for us, that’s how. My anxiety is at it’s high at night. Keeping Pyper (safely) in bed with me keeps in under control. On top of that she still nurses at night so, an added bonus is I get to stay in bed. (score)
- An alarm system. This one is pretty self explanatory
- A good support system. My mom is my life saver, there have been nights she just sits on FaceTime with me until I fall asleep.
- make sure you get rest. You can’t function properly when you are sleep deprived.
- Know that it is OKAY to seek help. If you don’t feel like you have this under control and need to see a doctor, do it, you aren;’t a bad mom, you are an amazing mom for wanting to fix the problem
- Someone always knows where we are. If we go out I always tell either mom or Xayne.
- MOM FRIENDS! There is just something so refreshing about someone who understands and is dealing with it too, and play dates are wonderful for babies.
- Walks, or just sitting outside. Fresh air really does wonders
So, there is a list of what I do. I really do hope this helped. You are a strong, amazing mother. I am always open to new friends so please feel free to reach out.
For now, I’m going to do dishes.
xoxox, Bye friend!